Parenting Beyond Books: Real Baby Sleep Advice

I’ve had so many heartfelt conversations with new mums lately—whether in clinic, at mothers’ group, or in those late-night messages—about baby sleep and behavior. The number one question? “Can you recommend a good parenting book?”

And honestly? No. Because BABIES CAN’T READ. And let’s be real, they are terrible at following instructions!

I get it. Sleep and settling are massive concerns for new parents. You’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and just want to know you’re doing the right thing. But most of these parenting books make us believe there’s a strict set of rules for sleep and behavior, like:

🚫 Your baby should sleep through the night.
🚫 They shouldn’t catnap.
🚫 They must nap in their cot—never in your arms, the car, or a carrier.
🚫 They must feed every three hours—no sooner, no later.
🚫 They must self-settle, and you shouldn’t help them fall asleep.

And the worst part? When our baby doesn’t do these things (spoiler: they won’t!), we feel like failures. We start doubting ourselves, thinking we must be doing something wrong. Maybe we bought the wrong cot? Maybe we need a new routine? Maybe Sarah’s baby sleeps through the night because she has that fancy bassinet?

Mama, take a deep breath. Your baby is not broken.

What I Want You to Know Instead

✔ Hold your baby when they cry. They need you. If they want to feed after an hour instead of three—feed them!

✔ Wear your baby. If they nap in the carrier, fantastic! If they sleep in the pram while you walk in the sunshine, perfect!

✔ Sleep when they sleep. That first stretch of night sleep? It will likely be the longest one. Go to bed when they do—yes, even if it’s 7 PM!

✔ Forget the housework. The washing, the dishes, the dust—it can wait. Your rest is more important.

✔ Follow your baby’s cues. Respond to their needs, cuddle them, and trust your instincts.

✔ Surrender to the moment. Some days will be harder than others. Some nights will be brutal. But this phase? It’s fleeting. You will sleep again.

There is no such thing as too many cuddles. There is no right way to do this. Parenting Beyond Books: Real Baby Sleep Advice means letting go of rigid rules and embracing what truly works for you and your baby.

And when you do? You’ll have a baby who is content, secure, and loved—and a mother who trusts herself more than any book ever could.

You’ve got this.